Respected Hazrat Hakeem Sahab, I listen to your talks on the internet day and night. My heart wishes I could be there too. Hazrat Hakeem Sahab this urge to be in your company arose after listening to the Halqa Kashful Mahjoob lessons. I have listened to all of its lessons from start till the end, once and then twice and noted down important points in my diary. These lessons have opened upon me doors related to the oneness of Allah and prophet hood of Muhammad (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) like never before.
The purpose of writing this letter is to draw the attention of our society towards an important yet shameful and painful topic. Many people might dislike this article but this has spread in our community like gangrene which everyone tries to avoid. Before writing on this topic I want to explain how this topic came to my mind. Actually I read an international magazine that divulges social evils, in which there was an article on ‘child sexual abuse’. According to a research 53% of sexual abuse incidents affect children. This is my story too when in my innocent childhood couldn’t even think of this sin let alone do it. I fell prey to it back then, I can recall maybe I was only six or seven years old when an acquaintance from our village came to stay for a few days at our house in the city to find employment. So that ‘beast’ did this ‘act’ with me for the first time. He played with my innocence. Then a boy from the neighborhood did the same thing with me. When I grew up a little I couldn’t even tell my parents. My innocence and fear that I didn’t even tell my cousins because I’d be disgraced. Then another close dignified person forcefully did the same act with me. Then I got addicted to horrible act. This is when I didn’t even know what I was doing. When I became mature I realized this is wrong. Respected readers! This is my story, whose innocent childhood got ruined but who knows how many unknown stories like mine exist in every neighborhood. My story is a clamor of the 90s when some sense of shame and decency still prevailed in society. Now internet and mobile is in everyone’s access, and filth is so common. Readers! I don’t watch or read news that much but when I hear of such a news I wish either the earth bursts open and I bury myself in it or I kill the person who commits this sin! Readers, our innocent children both girls and boys are victims of this heinous act in society.
Dear readers, we will have to protect our beloved children. When our kids turn five or six, they go to play outdoors or go to school, either they go to live at some relatives house or someone comes to stay at your house, or a tutor comes to teach at home; in all these circumstances when the parents are away and someone is trusted too much, how can the innocent children protect themselves on their own? Because they are innocent, even if someone touches them in the wrong places they will not understand that something wrong is happening.
Precautionary advice for parents:
According to one research one in every five children before reaching age of 18 fall prey to sexual abuse. Parents deprive their children of its awareness. Silence is helping to spread this crime. Why isn’t the role of parents brought to discussion here? Isn’t it the duty of parents and relatives to ensure their child’s safety and take care of the fact that children don’t go to market or streets alone? Most incidents happen when kids go out of the house alone or they are home alone with maids/helpers or some relatives and their parents or siblings are not nearby. If children are victimized by physical harassment or abuse, are showed material based on obscenity or their bodies are touched in a wrong way; all fall in the category of exploitation. To protect them from this sexual exploitation, the role of parents, elder siblings and teachers is noteworthy. If all of them give full awareness to children about their own physical safety, many such incidents will not die out even before happening. Kids don’t fall prey to sexual harassment only outside homes but also inside their homes. It is important to tell them to avoid going to any helpers/maids or relatives room, especially alone. Parents should not let other people unnecessarily hold their kids in their laps or unduly love them. Kids should be taught that if someone touches, frightens or threatens them, they should not get scared but inform their parents immediately. If any unknown person, even if it is a relative, touches the front of the chest, between the legs or the back, ask the child to scream loudly and to run away to a safer place. Apart from this, if someone caresses the face or kisses the child excessively be sure that it is something wrong and the child should inform his/her trustworthy parents or elder siblings immediately. Parents and teachers should very kindly win the trust of children between three to eight years of age. They should be taught with love not to eat anything given by a stranger because most incidents like this begin with a helper/maid, relative or child molester giving something to win their trust over and then eventually hurt them. Hence kids should be taught not to take anything from anyone except from household members. Kids of this age group should be kept at a distance from maids/helpers at home and picked and dropped to school under your own supervision. For Quran class or tuition, they should be made to sit in a room where you can keep a check on them and in no way leave kids of this age alone in the room. If the parents are themselves busy, then paternal or maternal grandparents could help with this. Children between 9 to 12 years of age can to some extent take care of their own selves; so they should be given material to read, written in very simple language, in order to ensure their own safety. Parents should have a friendly relation with their children and ask them to tell their parents immediately if anyone touches them with a bad intention or secretly touches them or scares them. Teachers happen to be great friends for children; they should keep in mind what problems the kids could face, whether anyone is teasing them, while talking to kid’s teachers should discuss their problems and solutions of problems. Take care of their mental and physical health as much as possible, and disallow them to walk in streets without any reason.Most of the parents show carelessness they watch Television and for their own sake they send them in the street. Do not do so many hawkers, drug addicts and crime professional keep on watching for this time that the child go to some quiet place and they could let them bring to their own place after using oily tongue. Physical violence is not only the problem of poor people the child of middle class can also be the victim of physical violence due to the carelessness of parents. this not only the duty of mother but parents and other members of family can collectively do this task, and make security of children possible. In our society the age of maturity Physical change and sex are made such prohibited things that to discuss that to discuss about them is a sin. Pakistani children are victims of exploitation due to this silence. Awareness is the power that can save them in present time period.